Saturday, July 25, 2009


I called Jess last night to check in just because I haven't spoken with her since last week.
She called me at 3:00 this afternoon to let me know she (and Amanda because they are now best buds) were up to visit my parents and would she be able to come by to drop off Avery's birthday present... UGH! Thankfully, we were not home because I HATE them just dropping by expecting me and my pathetic life to revolve around their wishes. I did tell her that I wished she had told me she was coming because I would have liked to have been included in her little family reunion but she said it was last minute blah blah blah... Yeah, right! Calls me at 3:00 when she's already here and Amanda is with her so she had to drive at least 1.5hrs to get to Jess and another 1.5 hours up here. I'm sure it was all arranged before this morning but whatever. So I tell her that I am planning a little party in August and she says that her next 3 weekends are booked... hmmm seems that she's making plans with somebody that aren't last minute! Jess, Amanda, my parents... none of them cared to let me in on their plan and speaking of my parents- they can't take 5 minutes to spend with me but can once again drop everything when my sisters come for a "last minute" visit... I am so very sick of meaning nothing, having nothing to offer, and being treated this way by everyone in my life. I must really suck. Wish I wasn't such an insignificant waste of air. Thank God for my babies and Matt because I swear, other than them, I could vanish into thin air and not a soul would notice. Seriously, I can't take much more of this.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Birthday dilema

After talking with several friends and a professional I decided not to invite family to Avery's birthday party this year. By "family" I mean my family. My family hasn't had the best attendace at my kids' birthday parties. My sisters and parents showed for Eva's first birthday but only Jess (the eldest of my two younger sisters) came to her second party and she was the only one who showed up for Avery's first birthday too. Amanda said she was sick for Eva's 2nd birthday but then never bothered to visit later or acknowledge her birthday in any way. When Avery turned a year Amanda called me after attending a wedding that same morning to tell me she was sick. I invited her to come the following day to the "friend party" but she never showed. When I called my Grandmother later in week my Aunt told me that Amanda was on the Cape with her boyfriend. Hmmm.

Anyway, Avery's birthday is next week. Amanda, in her usual fasion, just called me to say she's visiting my parents and would I mind if she came over for a bit- without any warning. You know just drop in... (this after she came up several dozen times in a row and didn't bother to call me or try to see my kids- the only reason she's calling now is that I emailed her after her last visit and told her I would like to see her and asked that she let me know BEFORE HAND next time she was here). Just happens that we're all sick, all five of us! Nasty head cold. I told her we're not the best company and she asked about Avery's birthday... I tell her I'm that basically not having a family party because nobody ever shows anyway. Her response "That's not fair, I was at a wedding".

I feel like saying: "BULLSHIT! You called me after the wedding (during or just before Avery's party) to let me know you weren't feeling well and I invited you to the party we were having the very next day and you said you'd come if you were feeling better. Funny because I called Aunt Nancy the next day and she told me you were visiting them on the Cape with your boyfriend and feeling just fine but you never bothered to call me and lie that day about being sick."

I didn't bother responding... waste of energy trying to reaon with people who lie and then a year later try to use the same lie again. It didn't work the first time, why does she think I'll fall for it now?

Update: Now she's posted on my FB page practically pleading to come to his party and making me look like an ass because I'm not inviting her. I emailed her to let her know we decided at the last minute (which we did- really, we called Matt's father and sisters last night) to get together on Sunday and she could come if she wants to but I understand that it's last minute.

I wish people would either smarten up or just leave me alone!

Friday, July 3, 2009

Here a fish there a fish...

Today we met up with my sister Jess, her husband, Dave, and their daughter, Sarah at the NE Aquarium. The kiddos were so excited about the fish and turtles. Eva did warn Avery that the shark was going to bite him... typical big sister! Has to ruin the experience for the little guy by scaring him. Actually I think she was aiming to get him to choose to stay behind so she could have us all to herself!

Anyway, the aquarium was a hit. We purchased a season (year long) pass for the Fam-Damily which was, if you ask me, worth it even if we never make it back there since we were able to skip on ahead of the mile long line (I'm exaggerating a teeny bit) and get right to the penguins.

Aahh the penguins! Last year when we went they were very happy little birds. Happy in this case meaning that they were happily "giving one another piggy back rides". Penguin sex is only interesting when you have a bunch of little kiddos looking about all confused and asking "why is that penguin doing that to the other one"? My very conservative sister even took video. (I love remembering this because it truly does show her humorous side, which I love!) I have to admit I was a bit relieved that they were not as "happy" this visit since I could only imagine what conclusions Eva may come to and how those conclusions may manifest in public places. For example: She's very upset, shall we call it, that Rylan and Avery have a penis and she does not. This typically sounds something like this in public "Why does Rylan have a penis with Avery like Daddy does and I don't? I want a penis. I don't want a 'gina'. I don't want one like Mommy." (as it happened today in the crowded ladies room at the Aquarium).

After the Aquarium we took a stroll to Fanuil Hall for some "Chowda"... Very crowded, very expensive, very sticky! BUT there are pigeons and that was a major attraction for Eva so I guess it was worth it. Maybe I shouldn't have bothered with the Aquarium. Next time I'll bring her to a McDonald's parking lot and buy her a bag of fries to attract the pigeons with.. :)

Ended our Boston portion of the trip with a stop in the park at the water fountain spray area where Avery was surprised by water shooting him in the butt and later in the face. Poor guy was in the wrong place at the right time twice! The crowd (and I) laughed both times while Matt said "it's not funny" (HELL YES IT WAS)! I guess I can kiss the mommy of the year award goodbye again... oh well! The kids were soaked so we stripped them naked (well down to diaper and undies- I'd already lost the award so who cares) right there in the park, loaded them into the stroller, and dressed them in the parking garage before heading to Kimball Farm for dinner and icecream. Lesson learned: if you "punch out" at the parking garage kiosk but don't exit the garage within 15 minutes (not enough time to change, dress, and load 3 small children, their belongings, stroller, ourselves, etc..) you are welcomed with an additional $12 fee at the gate! $#%^@ Boston Parking! UGH!

Fantastic weather today! I think it was the 5th sunnyish day in almost 30 days. Not too hot and a bit of a breeze made it perfect for us! Even this rain loving mommy was happy to see the sun!

Sunday, June 7, 2009


JD is our beloved Shepard mix that we "inherited" from our old neigbhors who were neglecting him. He's a great dog with just a few flaws-

1. He likes roaming free. A habit he picked up from living with the neigbhors who left him out all the time. Can we blame him? No! Who doesn't like roaming free? The thing is that he has taken to breaking the fence to get out and apparently pee in another neigbhor's garden and wander the center line on the main road.

2. He occasionally tries to "herd" people. He does this by nipping at your ankles if you're moving in a direction other than the one he's determined is the correct one.

3. He's almost constantly underfoot or in the way. On the leash he circles you so you get tangled or trip. In the house if you step over him when he's laying on the floor in your path you can be certain that 9 times out of 10, he'll jump to his feet mid step and send you flying!

4. He's got a THICK coat of fur that constantly sheds! This is the reason for this post. I have 4 dogs living in a small house and keeping up with the shedding is difficult. I have recently aquired a vaccum cleaner that I LOVE but brushing is needed in order for me to maintain some sort of sanity.

I prefer to brush JD (and our other dogs) on our deck because I can duck back in the house to check on the kiddos when needed. Of course when I'm done it looks like I've sacrificed several small animals. Matt hates having fur on the deck (understandable) and complains everytime I do it. So last week I told Matt I'd brush him in the yard next time. His response was something like "then they'll be a mess in YARD". UGH! I am TRYING to keep the hair out of the house and couldn't care less about hair in the yard... Now how do I explain this to hubby? :)

Friday, June 5, 2009

Lonely lately...

Feeling lost and lonely the past few weeks and the people I count on most are failing me. I know if my friends or family were in the same place I'd be much more supportive or just plain nice! This makes me realize exactly where I stand. I guess I'm grieving what I never really had AGAIN! Pisses me off because it's EXACTLY what I was doing months ago and was able to overcome (temporarily). Time to get the sage out again!

To top it off the whole family (except Matt) has had this lovely sinus thing that clogs your head so badly that you think your brain may drown in snot. It's the type of cold that makes you experience life as if it were in slow motion and when the phone rings the sound comes from all around you.

Other than that: The kids are growing like weeds. Eva is using the potty! She's been in "big girl undies" all day with no accidents, even through nap time and overnight!
Avery is using more words, making this lovely high pitched scream mostly in the back seat when I'm driving. He's getting even better at basketball. Shooting like a pro from several feet away from the hoop which he now prefers to be set at a "higher than his head" level.
Rylan is "talking" up a storm. He's cooing and smiling a lot more than last week.

Work is the same old thing. Fires all over the place for me to put out and no time to get actual work done because of it. It's amazing how unappreciated I feel there sometimes. The people who should notice how hard I work and just what I get accomplished are too caught up in whatever it is they are caught up in. Today the secretary went out of her way to "appreciate" me. Thank God for that! I needed a little "hug" after the week I've had.

Tonight we took off for the park at 7:30! Matt didn't bother telling me how crazy it was to leave the house at that hour. He's been very understanding of my need for some happy time and I wasn't going to get that if the kids were cooped in the house a minute longer! Eva spent the entire time on the swings smiling and asking to be pushed higher while watching the big kids kick their shoes off while swinging in a contest that earned the most points if their shoes hit the roof of the big play structure across the playground from the swings. Avery and Daddy had fun on the big slide. Rylan slept through the entire thing. Perfect because it allowed me to pay attention to Eva and Avery which I think they need desperately!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Grammie and Grampa

Grammie and Grampa came over today for a visit. They brought things for the kids to play with (and fight over) and some "too cute for words" outfits for Rylan. Eva and Avery played playdoh with Grammie and snuggled Grampa!

Family is super important to me. I would love to have a big happy family for my kids to grow up with but life has dealt me a different hand. Having them over today was greatly appreciated! I think we need to have them around more... need to work on that!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Getting Started

Basically I am creating this in hopes that I will keep a journal. I'm inspired by a friend's blog and how it has kept record of activities and accomplishments for her children as well as a window into thier mother's mind! :) Let's see how this works for me!