Lonely lately...

Feeling lost and lonely the past few weeks and the people I count on most are failing me. I know if my friends or family were in the same place I'd be much more supportive or just plain nice! This makes me realize exactly where I stand. I guess I'm grieving what I never really had AGAIN! Pisses me off because it's EXACTLY what I was doing months ago and was able to overcome (temporarily). Time to get the sage out again!

To top it off the whole family (except Matt) has had this lovely sinus thing that clogs your head so badly that you think your brain may drown in snot. It's the type of cold that makes you experience life as if it were in slow motion and when the phone rings the sound comes from all around you.

Other than that: The kids are growing like weeds. Eva is using the potty! She's been in "big girl undies" all day with no accidents, even through nap time and overnight!
Avery is using more words, making this lovely high pitched scream mostly in the back seat when I'm driving. He's getting even better at basketball. Shooting like a pro from several feet away from the hoop which he now prefers to be set at a "higher than his head" level.
Rylan is "talking" up a storm. He's cooing and smiling a lot more than last week.

Work is the same old thing. Fires all over the place for me to put out and no time to get actual work done because of it. It's amazing how unappreciated I feel there sometimes. The people who should notice how hard I work and just what I get accomplished are too caught up in whatever it is they are caught up in. Today the secretary went out of her way to "appreciate" me. Thank God for that! I needed a little "hug" after the week I've had.

Tonight we took off for the park at 7:30! Matt didn't bother telling me how crazy it was to leave the house at that hour. He's been very understanding of my need for some happy time and I wasn't going to get that if the kids were cooped in the house a minute longer! Eva spent the entire time on the swings smiling and asking to be pushed higher while watching the big kids kick their shoes off while swinging in a contest that earned the most points if their shoes hit the roof of the big play structure across the playground from the swings. Avery and Daddy had fun on the big slide. Rylan slept through the entire thing. Perfect because it allowed me to pay attention to Eva and Avery which I think they need desperately!